So I was trying to watch what I ate and not gain too much weight as recommended due to my back issues.  I was right on track gaining the right amounts at the right times.  Then one week in the third trimester when you’re supposed to gain about 1 lb a week, I gained 10 lbs!  I was shocked and ran to Eric crying.  He was so sweet and said, "whatever the baby needs that’s what it needs.  You’re eating healthy and you should just keep on keeping on."  (BEST husband EVER!)  That week I went the the doctor and they diagnosed me with preeclamspia/toxemia.  I think I was about 29 weeks along.  I was kind of relieved.  I mean, at least I didn’t gain the weight from too many bagels and cream cheese (the food of choice during the pregnancy).  They said it was not big deal, we’d just watch it.

Watch we did.  The scale and blood pressure kept going up and up.  Two weeks later they put me on bedrest.  I was actually kind of excited and ready to stop working (who’s not?).  Unfortunately that didn’t last long.  They put me on bedrest on Wednesday.  Friday I went to the doctor for some lab work that would be back on Monday.  The long term goal was to get to 35 weeks gestation.  The short term was 32 weeks.  The doctor warned me I might have to go on bedrest in the hospital if things got too bad…depending on the results of the tests too.  He sent me home with some warning signs of when to go back to the hospital.  At this point I’d been there 2 or 3 times.

By Sunday night I was experiencing a headache that wouldn’t quit.  This was one of the warning signs, but not in the area he told me.  Being over cautious I woke Eric up around 2 am to go the hospital.  In the car, things got bad.  I felt dizzy, saw flashing lights, disoriented and couldn’t talk.  Not good.

Upon admission and doctor review, they prepared me that I may deliver that week.  They gave me crazy super drugs that made me vomit and then dry heave.  I felt so bad I can’t even explain.  By 3 pm that day the doctor covering for my doctor announced we were going into delivery right now.  After demanding a second opinion, we got an ultra sound that revealed the baby wasn’t moving.  In for the c-section I went.  They took me to an operating room when about 12 people.  There was a team for me, anesthesia, and a NICU team for the baby.  I looked at the clock it was 330 before drifting out under general anesthesia.  Ona was born at 333.   

Stupid bedrest!  I didn’t even get a whole week!  I delivered the baby before the lab results even came back, which I’m guessing would have shown I should get my butt to the hospital.  BTW, they weighed me the day AFTER giving birth and at that point I had gained 57 lbs total.  27 in the last 2 weeks.  During the last week, my legs became so swollen I couldn’t bend my knees.  My feet were so big I couldn’t wear my shoes and then I couldn’t wear Eric’s shoes.  My friend Jamie saw me the day after giving birth.  She says I looked like a morbidly obese person.

picture 2 weeks before getting preeclampsia

a few days before the dx with my high school girl friends.

Here’s the one from Donna’s shower which is a week after the above picture, a few days after the dx and 2 days before delivery.  Not the most flattering pic:(

It’s interesting to see what happens to relationships after you have a baby….especially that with you family.  In my life my mom has always kind of been a hyper.  When something little happens, it gets bigger (hmm, I wonder where I got my flare for dramatics).  Then when we had Ona and everything was so crazy, she turned into this incredibly calming force.  Whenever I was freaked out or nervous, she would either just listen quietly or offer some words of encouragement (not the cheesy annoying kind, but the real ‘I feel ya" kind).

As Donna has admitted, our relationship has changed too.  We used to gossip about Brittany Spears and Tom Cruise over some martinis.  Now it’s more like babytalk over a glass of wine.  A month or so ago, she was over at our house talking to a friend on the phone and said, "I’m at my grandbaby’s house."  After her phone call I reminded her that it was our (Eric and my) house and we just let Ona stay here.  She just laughed.  She mentioned that we wouldn’t get any more presents, but that’s not true.  She gave me a necklace for my birthday and gift cards for Christmas.  Ha, I do still exist….if not only to produce more grandbabies:)

Ken, my father in law, has changed too.  He’s this big business guy who’s always super busy and on his cell….ALWAYS.  Every big event has a picture of him on the cell.  Now he doesn’t pick up his phone at dinners except to take pictures of Ona.  He’s so sweet with her and thinks she’s wicked smart (we do too!).  We call him Big Papa and sing the song "I love it when you call me big papa.  Throw your hands in the air."  When we sing and put our hands up, Ona does too!!

I guess my dad is the only one not to really change.  He thinks Ona is cool and all, but even after we named her after his mom we didn’t get much response other than a shoulder shrug.  He smiles at her, but immediately follows up with "got ’em dealt yet?"  BTW, my family is crazy competitive about cards.

Overall, it’s been amazing to watch the people I love, love my baby.  To watch them get excited about the stuff I get excited about like her giggle or trying to pet Millie is so cool.  The built in babysitter is a definite plus of living close!!

I took Ona to get her picture taken at a studio today.  She peed on the photographer.  I’ve never felt embarrassed and proud at the same time before.

Since Ona came so early she was tube fed and later taught how to take a bottle.  During that time I met with lactation who taught me how to pump and told me to pump every 2 hours with one 5 hour break a day to sleep.  Eric bought me a digital timer that triggered my "let down" instead of baby cry.  Pumping sucked.  It was time consuming, boring (20 just sitting there), and then there were so many tiny parts to clean.  People asked why I didn’t just stop pumping and give the baby formula…the answer is that when other people take care of your baby 24 hours a day and there is one thing you CAN do for your baby, I choose to do it. 

After 2 weeks or so, they started letting me attempt breastfeeding sessions with Ona.  The lactation people would come in with their fancy scales and measure her before and after.  I remember after one "successful" feeding session she took 6ccs (30cc make an ounce).  She continued to be tube fed and bottle fed.

By the time we got home she was off the tube and getting a bottle every feeding.  Every other feed I would attempt to breastfeed.  Our schedule went like this 1) prepare bottle, 2) breastfeed, 3) bottle feed, 4) burp and hold upright for 30 minutes due to severe reflux, and 5) pump.  On the every other feed I’d just give her the bottle, hold upright for 30 minutes and then pump.  This was really time consuming and complicated.  I gave up like 5 times in a big, dramatic, crying way (imagine that, right).  Eric was so supportive.  He helped out all he could by washing pump parts and guarding our feeding sessions (for example, he’d have company wait until I was done).

When we left the NICU, they told us she should be totally breastfed by her due date….that came and went.  Then I told myself just go day by day and when you can’t take it anymore, you can’t.  Oh did I mention the nipple shield?  Eventually she got it about 4 weeks after her due date.

Now she’s 6 months old, doing great and with in normal limits for weight for her adjusted age.  She’s totally breastfed with bottles when I’m gone.  We just introduced rice cereal which she spits about 1/2 back out.  People keep asking me how long I’m going to breastfeed implying it should be soon.  It’s really frustrating because I feel like it just got easy.  We just found what works for us.  It was so hard to get started.  Why should I be in a rush to wrap it up??

Let me start with the pregnancy. I took a pregnancy test the morning before leaving for my first ever ski trip (wanted to make sure I could drink). Well, as it turns out I couldn’t drink b/c I was knocked up. I still skied and had fun with the exception of some altitude sickness.

I’d love to be one of those women that say, “it was the best time of my life. I LOVED being pregnant!” But the truth is I loved it for about 6 weeks. The first 20 weeks or so I thought I’d puke if I moved and I’m sure Eric thought I was in hibernation I slept so much (sorry ‘bout that babe!). The middle was great. I had energy. My stomach was the perfect little bump and my boobs were amazing…sorry friends for being so inappropriate and wearing low cut everything during this time! Eric and I took advantage of the feeling good stage and took a babymoon to Florida. Super relaxing.

Then I got the preclampsia/toxemia. Sucked. I rapidly gained water weight and became so swollen that I couldn’t even bend my knees at times. BTW-this is not brought on by eating salt and you shouldn’t drink extra water during this time as a colleague made me do. No infact, your body isn’t processing fluids fast enough, so extra water just stays in your body(can you tell I’m still bitter? Let me eat my Doritos in peace, dammit)! Luckily the doctor caught it and put me on bed rest. Unluckily, by the time the super detailed test results came in (3 days later b/c of a weekend) I was back in the hospital giving birth to Ona at 31 ½ weeks. Funny how that ½ week really was important to the medical staff. I’ll tell more later, but right now I don’t want to get all emotional…

It’s so crazy to me that I have a real family of my own now…Or I guess I should say, It’s crazy how completely natural it feels.  It feels like Ona has been a member always.  Don’t get me wrong; our lives have definitely changed with the addition, but it feels right.  I think we’re all in a really good place now.  She’s get some pinch on her (Yeah-babyfat!!), she’s been healthy, and we’ve worked out a lot of our routines such as going to work, getting up in the middle of the night and most importantly Daddy Daughter morning which lets Mommy sleep in.  I feel incredibly lucky to have a healthy baby and to be healthy myself.